Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'm not here, this isn't happening

My optimistic attitude has been crushed. Its almost funny how once I thought I was in the clear, I get crushed by more terrible news. My Aunt has cancer. The doctors thought they got rid of it a few months ago, guess they were wrong.

To make things worse, I feel completely alienated. All my friends are caught up with their lives while mine falls apart. I was supposed to spend the day with just my girl friend. I waited from 8am till 2pm to even hear from her. Then I waited 3 hours to even see her and with the 3 hours time I spent with her and our friends, she acted as if we had never met. Didn't even kiss me. With no explanation she apologized and said she would call me later. I am doubtful that will even happen.

My email is overflowing with messages from professors about work they want done, I haven't even opened them. I can't bring myself to do anything but sit in the dark and play guitar like nothing else matters.

I am starting to worry that as people read this, they will see this dark, depressed individual. I am not really like this. I am usually very lively and fun, I promise. Hopefully by mid semester this is filled with more positive things then negative, once again, I am doubtful.

By the way, the beach was amazing.

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