I don't know why I am the way I am with some things. In this particular case I am referring to somewhat of a double standard that I can't seem to shake.
As many people may or may not know, I happen to enjoy consuming substance in large quantities. I also have no problem with other people consuming large quantities of substance. For some odd reason my problem comes in when this equation is completed:
Someone I care about consumes large quantities of substance+a cell phone= drunk texts= me a total wreck.
So in this case, my girlfriend is at after prom. I would be too naive to convince myself that her and her friends drove to the armpit of America to not drink. My problem was not there. My problem is that its now about 4:30 am and is telling me about how she drank too much. This makes me very uneasy cause she is in a different state and she is with at least 2 people that I am fairly sure would take advantage of her.
It also not helping that most of my friends were under the impression that I was going to cheat on my girlfriend tonight because I went on somewhat of a date with another girl. Proud to say I did not cheat on her, but since the idea is cheating on my head... well lets just say I have been shaking throughout writing all of this.
I try not to show my emotional side too often, hence why I use these blogs as a crutch to vent them, because this blog bares no judgement (until someone reads it and gets upset or offended but thats another story).
That being said, I still don't feel a whole lot better about this ridiculous predicament I forced myself into, so I'm gonna go take a walk and hopefully I don't smoke an entire pack of 54's.
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