I don’t think I wanna live here dying all alone...

Contrary to my last blog, summer has yet to yield any real greatness with the exception of a few parties and shows. I don't know if we have grown apart or if we are just getting older, but I feel that the fire in most of my friends has died. I am aware its only May and there is still all of summer, but last year this time, we were up till 5 AM just talking and having a good time. Now everyone goes in at 12 despite the fact that school is over. Yea some of my friends have work and responsibilities, its just a little lame, or at least I think so.

I guess I am a little stressed and I am desperately looking to relive the care free days of last summer. Lately I have been up to my neck in shit for the band, the label Mark and I are starting, the shows Danny and I are booking. And now I have just taken on the responsibility of promoting for an organization called Choose Responsibility, which is aiming to lower the drinking age to 18. All of these things are great and exciting, they just all give me a huge headache when they all need to get done at once.

What is killing me more than ever is the fact that I don't see Gina as much as I would like to. Recently our schedules have just been in constant conflicts. And it all really sucks, because now my psyche is in constant conflict.

I used to tell myself that I would never truly fall in love due to the fact that I want to live a tour type life style and because of that I would not have the time for a full time partner. But I am in love with Gina, and my whole perception of my life has been flipped around.

I guess I can only hope that things will get more exciting and that I will be taken out of this funk.

Totally off topic but I fell in love with this quote tonight!

"Well, it's a crazy fucked up world and we're all just floating along waiting for someone who can walk on water, man."- Michael A. Goorjian as Heroine Bob in SLC Punk

Here in this Diary I write you visions of my summer.

School is officially over and summer is shaping up to be a good one. So far there have been 2 bat shit insane parties and it looks like there will be plenty more to come. So I am glad about that.

Tonight was a little different though, it was much more low key. Evan got home from NEC today so we met up with Rob and got cold cheese. On our way home we picked up Lisa, a few cigars and we sat in Rob's cool shed type thing just listening to music and enjoying sweet tobacco.

I discovered that I absolutely treasure these moments. I have come to enjoy simple evenings with good company. We all agreed that the evening would of been complete with some beer or wine, but there is always next time. I can't wait till the weather is nicer so things like that can happen a little more frequently.

In other spectrums of my life, be on the look out for big things from The OverUnder and a few other projects I've been working on. This summer is gonna be BIG!

I'm another day late and one year older.

So I just finished all my finals. Most people would say I should be stoked. But I'm not. Sure I'm glad its over, but this semester handed me my ass on a silver platter. I am almost positive I just failed the easiest math class Hofstra has to offer, which I have to say I don't want to take over. My GPA Dropped from 3.5 to 3.2 and only one of my classes has been factored in. I guess I really just have to pray for a good grade in psych and a decent grade in history. I know I got an A in writing which is awesome, but the fact that out of 6 classes that was the only good grade I'm getting is really bumming me out.

How appropriate that its raining today.

I dropped my car off to get serviced a little while ago and I walked home in the rain. It felt so right to sulk as I walked home soaking wet. I guess I'll be taking some winter and summer courses next year to make up for this nonsense.

I'm thinking about dropping the whole music aspect of college. Sure I love it, but in the end, I am a Pop Punk musician and no matter how much I can fool my parents and friends, there is no way I will ever be a music teacher with that mentality, unless I teach Pop Performance at the New School.

I am thinking about taking up acting. I have been told that I am pretty good at it. So what the hell. If Keanu Reeves can do it, I can. Plus, Christopher Walken graduated from Hofstra, that has to say something good about the drama department there. I guess I'll see what next semester does for me. I'm taking 3 music classes out of 5 classes in total. Maybe I'll change my mind again.

I have to say that even though I am not obligated to write in this blog anymore, I'm happy I am.

I feel a lot better having spewed all my feelings out onto this. My attitude now (from my attitude when I started writing this blog) is if I fail, I fail. No ones dead right? Life carries on.

As cliche as this sounds, I guess this is my failure by design.