Don't ever talk to me like you think you know me or what I've been through. I am nothing like you!

There are a few things that have been bothering me lately. I try and vent them out, but I usually stop myself before I go on a tirade and subsequently make all my friends hate me. So I figured I would write them here. The problem with that is, I am not sure who reads this blog outside of my close friends and my written expressions class. So I finally decided to write this blog at the risk of becoming less popular amongst some people.

I am really starting to get to a point in my life where I can't put up with nonsense. And it seems that nonsense just seems to follow me where I go. People that I barely know are starting to talk to me like I have known them for years, and it bothers me. I try to be friendly to everyone, but just because I am friendly to you does not mean I want to be your friend.

Example: The other day, when I was playing that show in Hicksville, some kid came up to me and started talking to me about how much he hates the church and religion. I'm an atheist, and that bothered me. This kid knew nothing about me other than my last name is Bilder and I knew his friend. I never even got this kids name, yet within 5 minutes of meeting him he did not hesitate to start bashing religion. I don't understand what part of my personality even led him to believe that I would be ok with that, let alone even care about what he had to say.

The truth is. 90% of the time, I don't care what people have to say. And I hope people start to understand that. I have enough problems in my life already without people spilling their life stories into my lap.

There are 2 people specifically that annoy me on an extreme level and don't realize it, and one other person who does it, but I only see her in my philosophy class.

These 2 other people, are the type of people who are under the impression that I want to hang out with them and be friends. In reality, I never want to see them ever. Both of them just talk about themselves all the time, and it drives me insane. One of them has been trying to psychoanalyze me and that is also getting on my nerves. I kinda just want to tell them both to just stay out of my life, but I really don't have the heart to. They are both nice people, they just don't understand when someone isn't interested.

And as for the other girl, she sits in my philosophy class and waits for the right moment to interrupt and tell us all some convoluted story about how what we're learning applies to her life. But everyone can't stand her and we all vent to one another about how she needs to shut up, so she doesn't bother me as much as these people who don't understand I want nothing to do with them.

I apologize to anyone who actually read this rant. In a lot of ways, I feel like a huge hypocrite, cause why would any of you want to hear about my problem? But I guess if you are reading this it is completely free will with a few exceptions. In the end though, I feel a lot better having said all of that.

I promise next time will be more upbeat, unless this weekend turns out to be a disaster, but I highly doubt it.

MC HAMMER IS PLAYING THE BAMBOOZLE.

Well, not this year, but it was the only song I could think of with Bamboozle in the title.

So this weekend is Bamboozle and I am pretty excited to take a step back from college and spend two days in my element. I have already mapped out my weekend.

May 1st

12:55-1:25: Title Fight at Zumiez South

1:25-1:50: Score 24 at The Break Contest

2:30-3:00: Four Year Strong at Skate and Surf

3:00-3:30: Relient K at Sony Bloggie

3:30-4:00: The Aquabats at Skate and Surf

4:30-5:00: Escape The Fate at Skate and Surf

5:30-6:05: Saves The Day at Skate and Surf

6:40-7:15: Angels And Airwaves at Skate and Surf

7:15-7:55: Something Corporate at Sony Bloggie

7:55-8:25: Ke$ha (just for the hell of it) at Skate and Surf

8:25-8:55: Protest The Hero at Zumiez North

9:55-10:25: Architects at Zumiez South

Then it would be off the The Meadowlands Plaza Hotel where Robby, Desmond, Fawn, Sarah, Hannah, Anthony and I will live large in our

Two Room Suites: û Features King bed in private room û Queen sleeper sofa in parlor û TV and phone in each room û Refrigerator û Microwave û Whirlpool Tub in bathroom

May 2nd 1:20-1:50: Gabriel The Marine at The Aquarian 2:10-2:45: Mc Chris at Zumiez South 2:45-3:15: Polar Bear Club at Zumiez North 4:00-4:30: Ke$ha (this time to fill the huge gap in time) at the Sony Bloggie 5:05-5:40: Motion City Soundtrack at the Sony Bloggie 5:40-6:15: Say Anything at Skate and Surf 6:15-6:50: Mute Math at the Sony Bloggie 6:50-7:30: Matt And Kim at Skate and Surf 7:30-8:10: Girl Talk at the Sony Bloggie 8:10-9:00: MGMT at Skate and Surf 9:00-10:15: Weezer at the Sony Bloggie Needless to say, I am stoked!

I'm sorry you had to know me When I'm so fit to be tied.

Last Thursday was another sad day for music.

My band was set to play a show at a hall in Hicksville. This was not an important show and therefore it was just an excuse to get together and play music. Unfortunately, not everyone felt the same way. My guitar player Drew was unable to attend the show due to restraints with school. No big deal. We were just going to play the show without him. Or so I thought. Throughout most of the day, I was on the phone with either my singer Jimmy, my drummer Mark or my other guitar player Dutch. Not everyone felt the show was worth playing and for some reason made a very big deal out of nothing. Personally, I don't care if the show is big or small, with full band or just a few people, I will look for any excuse to get on stage to perform. Its what I live for. Nothing gets me more high then the rush I get from playing music.

After all the nonsense was done and we got all available members to the show, things seemed to be shaping up. Things did not shape up for long. The real problems came more or less towards the end of the show, when we were set to perform. I walked up on stage to set up my equipment and was very stoked to play for a fairly decent sized crowd. Another band comes up and tells me that my band is not performing yet. I was confused because we were literally just announced to play next. I told them that I had to get a 17 year old girl home by 10. This was no fabrication. They assured me they would play a quick set.

An hour later and the front man of this particular band had the nerve to ask how much time they had left in their set. Needless to say I was furious. They played one more song and then left the venue and took most of the crowd. This did not deter me from trying to have a good time. I did not mind playing in front of just my friends. What irritated me more than anything is that even after all the garbage I put up with; from getting all the available members to show up, to dealing with the antics of an immature band, our set was cut short. At that point, I grabbed my stuff and the girl, packed my car to the brim, and did 90 the entire way on the Northern State to get this girl home at 11:30, an hour and a half after she was supposed to be home.

Yesterday, I read my old friend's and old guitar player's, Matt Villani, blog. He wrote about how when he was 16, everyone in the scene was in it for everyone. Now everyone is in it for themselves. I could not agree with him more.

These dark times the scene has found themselves in show no sign of letting up and it is kind of killing me inside.

Sad enough to say that alone I could barely light a match, but together we can burn this place down!

Happy to say that life is still on the upside. A few nights ago I spent a few hours on the phone with Hannah. It was really good to hear her voice. We had another one of those talks that I can't have unless it is with her, so another big load was lifted off my shoulders.

I feel like every time Hannah and I speak I realize something new about myself. She truly knows me better then anyone, self included. It is that sole reason that I treasure the talks I share with her.

Friday was the Launch Conference. Given the circumstances, I felt the show went really well. I didn't get there in time to see any of the panels, but my singer Jimmy did. According to him, when he went to give our EP to CI Records, they informed him that they had heard of us. So I am pretty stoked about that, and I have my fingers crossed that something big comes from that.

Today might have been one of the best days in my life. Gina and I went out for breakfast, hung out at guitar center, and wandered around Brooklyn for awhile. It was a really great day.

I guess the best news I have on top of all of this is with the exception of History, I am basically on top of all my work as it pertains to college. I am almost done with my paper for written expression. A lot of revisions need to be made but at least the bulk is out of the way. I think I have one last test for math. I believe that I have completed my required work for philosophy. I am almost done with my research credits for psych. And to top all of this off, I got a job!

I guess that change I was talking about a few entries back might be happening a bit sooner than I expected! On that note, I am going to try and take a nap before band practice.

Summertime and the livin's easy

So it isn't actually summer yet, but you could have fooled me. I have been doing a much better job of keeping a clear head then I had been in the weeks leading up to this one and I think this has mostly to do with the amount of time I am spending outside. I have come to appreciate just being out of my house. Its nice looking at things that aren't on a computer screen. I have spent an extreme amount of time skating. I have been seeing some friends who take skating a bit more seriously then I do and it is kinda of forcing me to push myself a little harder. I just cleaned up the bearings and trucks on my board and my ride is a lot smoother, so I can't wait for the next big session.

In a lot of ways, skating has been the only thing next to music and Gina that is keeping me sane. The old saying "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!" was off just a tad. "All work and no play makes Andrew go crazy!" sounds a little more on mark. So the fact that I am outside and I am skating so much is so incredibly great for me.

And at the risk of sounding cliche, I will end this blog to go skate!

Monday she left home for New York City, by Friday she was found but torn apart.

Last night was pretty rough. I met up with my good ol' friend Nostalgia. For some reason I have this fixed notion that the past was considerably better than the present.

I will admit, last night I was... "silly"... While walking home from the party where all my actual "ol' friends" were, I stopped at the my elementary school bus stop. Granted, this bus stop is across the street from my house. I am legitimately looking at it from my bedroom window. But for some reason standing on it just let in a flood of memories that started from my first day of kindergarden and ended on my last day of high school.

In retrospect, the individual phases of my life, would hate each other, and that kind of bothers me a little. I understand that people change, and I do in fact fit into that category, but I did not realize to what extent people change. I hope that, for many reasons, I change at least once more. I hope that in time I grow out of the phase I am in now because present day me is a complete train wreck. A testament to this is that I am completely serious about myself being a total mess, and have yet to take control of myself and change it. It's not even that I don't know how to do it, I am just refusing to do it. I guess this is just college. Just like me in high school was just high school.

Completely unrelated, but the music video finally came out, so if you haven't seen it yet, its here!

www.myspace.com/theoverunder