It's not a change of taste, I was the one there last night

Spring break is finally here. It isn't really much of a break though. I have 2 papers and a boat load of reading, not to mention that the weather is garbage and I once again find myself in a familiar place with familiar people.

The song "Untitled" by Blink-182 perfectly describes how I am feeling with some people. I should probably say one person instead of some people. I digress.

In short, I have discovered that the tendencies of some people do not change. Example. I have a tendency to set myself up for disappointment. I go out of my way in attempts to make things happen, and ultimately find that nothing changes. I am still sitting in my room alone, waiting for a call. This is my third time doing the same thing, you think I would of got the hint the first time.

There are many paths this blog can go down from here, but to save my self a headache in the long run, I'm gonna cap it here with some lyrics from "Untitled"

"I needed you most
When I needed a friend
You let me down now
Like I let you down then

So sorry, it's over"

The enemy is everywhere!

I was going to write something original about the current state of the country given the passing of the new health care bill, but I am having a really hard time doing it because of a discussion my friend and I had on facebook. So since it has already been said best, here is my friends take on the current state of the country, and my rebuttal.

"Something horrible is happening in America. Something so unseemly and so provocative that I have been inspired to move out from three wonderful years of sheer apathy to render a public comment on the matter. In harsher economic times, more people pay attention, and with this renewed attention come voices of hope and voices of distress. With the passing of the new Health Care Reform Law this week, the voices of hope have proven how finicky they really are, while the voices of distress continue to frighten me to the point that I don’t know how their insanity will chart the course of my country.

This week, I learned that nobody knows anything, but everybody feels comfortable saying everything. I remember in 2004, when at the height of the Iraq War, George W. Bush came to my hometown and I couldn’t find a single friend who even had an OPINION on him, let alone were willing to come with me to Eisenhower Park to protest (I wouldn’t do something like that nowadays, I’m far too old for that sort of thing). But on Sunday, the second that healthcare passed, every single one of these friends was now the owner of a passionate opinion. Not only that, they were also now experts on anything and everything related to healthcare. The ones who only read angry articles about it of it call it socialism. The ones who only read happy articles about it embrace the rhetoric of its authors. I call it five more years of free living on my mom’s dime. Thanks for the good times, BlueCross BlueShield!

What really bothered me was that as soon as the bill passed, the country’s opinion on the bill completely shifted. Before it gained congressional passage, support for Health Care Reform was below 40%. After it passed, Gallup recorded that 49% of Americans had come to support the bill. What’s with the bandwagoning, people? Does passage of the bill change what it is? Or is it just easier to tell people that you liked it all along? I don’t understand the finickyness. I am led to believe by this that if the bill failed, its national support would’ve plummeted. In my mind, agreement with an idea shouldn’t be based on whether or not it is signed into law; it should be based upon the merit of the tenets of the individual idea, but maybe I’m just old-fashioned. But that’s not even what frightens me–that’s what irritates me.

What frightens me is that in a city like Binghamton, an economically deprived wasteland in collectively economically deprived Upstate New York, I now see protesters on the side of the road holding up signs that say “Don’t Tread On Me.” Despite the fact that this person, who was standing alongside the road in South Binghamton covered in filth, would most likely benefit from passage of the very law he was standing in protest of, he expressed a rage I had only seen before on television. This probably unemployed man had succumb to the belief that passage of the bill was the first step to a horrible thing: a full-scale government takeover of everything in his life. I don’t understand why he’d be upset though. If the government took over Binghamton, maybe we’d have some jobs around here.

Now that the verdict has been rendered, I see finicky supporters of the Health Care Bill sprouting up everywhere and that the bill’s opponents are going absolutely nuts in the face of its passage. Congressional Republicans charted a dishonest path. Mitt Romney passed a nearly identical bill in Massachusetts in 2006 that was applauded by conservatives at the time. It was even used by Romney himself during his presidential race to portray himself as a competent executive. However, once President Obama’s bill came into existence, opposition to Health Care Reform became less about disagreements with specific aspects of policy and more about personally destroying Barack Obama. At the end of the day, the Republicans were simply outmaneuvered, and that’s all there is, folks.

But it’s not. And now crazy people like the ones I saw on South Washington Street are everywhere, calling in death threats to politicians that they disagree with, and seemingly preparing themselves to violently rescue by force a country that they fear is being stolen out from underneath them. Demagogues like Glenn Beck are only making the problem worse, and I fear that as this problem spirals out of control, this whole Tea Party movement is gonna end with some crazed believer(s) taking it too far and causing some serious damage. The Becks and the Palins will blame Obama for creating such unrest that was able to spiral out of control this far, but the question must be asked: Who can solve the problem when those with power are powerless?"- Harrison Feuer

I have to say Harrison, by looking at the title, I was a bit nervous about what I was about to read. Needless to say, I am relived that you have not gone insane and remain one of the few people that still have a head on their shoulders.

As you may or may not know, this very topic has been a point of my tweets and status updates as of late, stirring up much discussion with some people who are completely ignorant as to what they are saying. The internet has made it extremely easy for anyone to regurgitate some right wing nut jobs agenda (and left wing at times) and have no well formed opinion of their own and simply taking what they read as there own.

The one thing that I have been repeating more often than not recently is that too many people all think that the mandate in the health care bill is going to destroy the country. What people have neglected to realize is that government mandates are not a new idea. In fact they have been around before this country was even formed. These mandates are called TAXES!

At this point I normally would go on a rant, but you have expressed most of my views in this note, so I will skip to the point.

The problem is not with the government, but with society. Not enough people are thinking on their own. There are no Socrates in America now a days. Everyone is ready to accept what they are told without questioning that validity of anything. I am not just saying this about conservatives, but everyone. When this bill came into headlines, I researched it on my own to form an opinion, not throw on MSNBC. Just some food for thought.

On a side note, this was extremely well written and thought out man. I hope you repost this somewhere for a larger audience to read.

There's a sick little suicide in all that we do...

This weekend, a girl I did not know from West Islip took her life due to comments left on her formspring.

Out of curiosity I looked a little further into all of this. There have been many pages set up in her memory and I even got involved in booking a local show in her honor.

As I read the comments on her memorial page, I came across some extremely hateful comments.

People said terrible things about this girl and even left some photoshopped pictures of her head in a noose. As I soon discovered, there people were trolls.

To save myself from going on a tirade of all the terrible things I would do to these people if I ever had the chance, I will end this post briefly.

To all the trolls out there, screw off! I cannot believe that people are actually taking enjoyment in this girls death, and the deaths of others. It is disgusting.

I'll have to take on this world cause this world can't take on me!

My spirits have recently been lifted! With the coming of spring, I feel new again. Its really sweet actually. Just to feel alive.

I have spent a lot of time skating and writing music. I also have been getting a lot of my school work done. I have found a pretty good balance.

Today I set my yard up. Pretty stoked to be having small gatherings again!

Fearless I wait here on my own.

It is a few hours after my last post. I woke up today to more bad news, what a surprise. This is going to get confusing so I am gonna have to back track a little bit.

A few posts ago I was talking about my aunt who has cancer. I should of said which aunt, because in reality, I have 2 aunts plus my mother who battle cancer. So a few months ago, my Aunt Linda had lung cancer. Doctors thought they removed it, but it spread to her adrenal gland. She recently underwent surgery to remove her adrenal glad. In most cases, it comes out in one piece. In my Aunt Linda's case, it crumbled into pieces. Not a good sign. We are still waiting for word on what this means.

My mother who has battled cancer since I was in 6th grade underwent a biopsy for her breasts. It came back negative. But now doctors want to put her on some medication that should prevent cancer, because they are a little unsure.

This morning, I woke up and found out that my Aunt Susan, who has underwent numerous chemotherapy treatments, can't get her medications because her heart is only working at 50%

Needless to say I am pretty shook up about all of this. The timing could not be worse, because I just got out of a pretty bad depression, and my work load for school is getting pretty heavy.

I feel terrible for my little brother. I am afraid that he is going to go away to college next semester, and half of his family is going to die.

I can't even formulate thoughts anymore. I guess this is the end of this blog.

But since your heads in the clouds the best advice I found is don't look down

It is 2:30, roughly. So by technicality, yesterday was my birthday. I just got home from our show in PA, and I am pretty drained. I have to say, since I hate my birthday, yesterday was perfect. It rained all day. I spent 5 hours in traffic to get to the show, got yelled at by the promoter for being late, played for my friends band (who in turn played for us when they played there set) and 2 girls for 20 minutes. My dinner consisted of an Amp Energy Drink, beef jerky, 2 taquitos and a Resses fast break, which I ate at a gas station. In my opinion, day well spent.

But I try, and thats why, this world will know my name when I die.

I have been keeping myself pretty busy lately, which is good. Most of my focus has been dedicated to music and the scene with a few breaks here and there to enjoy the nice weather and skate.

Last week I helped run a show. This show had no name or purpose, but I can see that it is going to become a revolution.

My friend Danny came up to me not too long ago and asked if I would be interested in helping him run shows at The Ethical Humanist Society in Garden City. He didn't even need to explain his motives and I was on board. Danny and I come from a very similar background. We were both brought into the scene by the now legendary Calvary Shows. The thing about The Calvary Shows that made them great were simple. They were there for the kids and the bands to have a good time. Now shows are mostly run to make money.

So last Friday was the big day. Our first show. It went extremely well and the best part about it was being able to throw all of the bands some money. Was it a lot? No. But it is a nice change of pace them having them sell tickets and have the bands wind up loosing money.

Danny and I recently started to get a little more organized with this project and make it a little more public. Last night I made the facebook group, this morning I wake up to a ton of messages from people asking to help and people showing an overwhelming amount of support for what will now be called The Humanity Shows.

A lot of people are saying the same thing. "It is about time someone fixed this mess." It was no secret that the Long Island scene was falling apart, but I had no idea that I would take part in rebuilding it. Some girl even drew me this:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5103400&id=794184114

Incredibly proud moment in my life.

I guess the whole point of this blog is that I now know what I am doing with my life. And its what I always have been doing. And I still don't need a degree to do it.

The lights went out! The lights went out! And darkness filled the house on a tiring night under a Long Island sky.

As per a typical day in the life of a college student, I wake up and go on facebook. It is a bizarre ritual that I am shamelessly participating in.

As I scroll through my news feed of 1700+ friends, I come across a post about a friend of mine that I have not seen in awhile. Today I found out that my friend Ryan Finn is joining The Navy. I got a bad taste in my mouth as soon as I read that. I am not upset that he joined The Navy, I am upset that I did not get to see him one last time before he left. He is only gone for 8 months, but because I haven't seen him in what feels like a life time, I anticipate these next 8 months to feel like a life time as well.

When I come to think of it, I have not seen any of my Oceanside friends in a considerably long time, with the exception of Cereny who I see at Vibe frequently. But I have not seen Tina since her birthday last summer, I have not seen Zach since Bamboozle, I have not seen Boha since Blink-182, I have not seen Mike since I went through a terrible heartbreak 2 summers ago. I have not seen Jon, Taco, Persall, Joe and Spencer in god knows how long.

If any of you read this, please understand that I am going to get out there as soon as I can.

It is so odd. If Ryan told me that he was joining The Navy the last time I saw him, I probably would have laughed, thats how long its been.

This very moment, nothing else is this important

I hit the apex of my depression this week. I am happy to say that I am finally happy. And with good reason.

Reason 1) My attorney called me after my court date on Tuesday. The great state of Maryland will drop all charges and records thanks to, believe it or not, Hofstra. I never thought making the deans list would benefit me... EVER! But it kept me out of trouble, so thank you Hofstra.

Reason 2) My bands music video is almost done. I got to take a look at 2 versions of it so far. It looks incredible. Now we just need to work out some minor bugs within the band, but for reasons I can't disclose, I have a good feeling about that as well.

Reason 3) Tonight, my friend Danny and I will attempt to recreate the high point of both our childhoods. We are running a show that mimics every good quality of The Calvary Shows. It looks like the show is gonna be packed so I am incredibly stoked. But even if it is not packed, I will still be happy. I am looking to build a legacy, a dynasty, with these shows, not looking for it to hit its climax the first show and have that be it. So we shall see what happens tonight.

Reason 4) After a battle royal with my... you know something? I don't know what to call Gina at this point in my life. Girlfriend? Partner? Friend? Lady friend? Well, what ever she is, we finally got to a point where we have agreed to work things out. I am just happy that this mess is over and I have someone to speak to now.

Reason 5) My final reason is that I got to speak to Hannah. For some reason, she has always been the one person I can turn to no matter what. I don't know if it is because the both of us go through similar situations at different points in our lives, I can't explain it. But for some reason we just click, even when we're not clicking, we click.

I feel like Hannah and I were sent to a rehab center together. Rehab for life, and we are each others rehabilitation partners. The one that is there to encourage you through the process of rehab. Whether or not she feels the same way is unbeknownst to me, but I assume that doesn't matter much.

Well I guess thats about all that I have to talk about. Its a little after 7 am, and I can't believe I am awake. I guess being able to sleep easy for a change does that.

There is one last thing that I want to talk about, but I can't so I will just continue alluding to it until the time is right. Desmond, if you are reading, thank you for this.

When Dogs Dream...