Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Fuck you little princess, who the hell do you think you are?

I didn't post the link to this the last few times I wrote in it due to the fact that I was obviously terribly depressed and thinking irrationally. This time, I wont post it because once again I am thinking irrationally, only now I am more rage filled than anything. Fuck it, I may post this on twitter, I really want to. We'll see what happens after my rant.

I have been cutting down on the sexting I do with dumb girls. If you have ever spent anytime with me at around 9pm-2am on any given night then you know that a number of girls (usually still in High School) start texting ridiculous sexual fantasies to me. I never turn down the opportunity to take the ride with them till they cum or till I get bored. If only they knew what I was really doing when I say "My cock is so hard"; if only they knew that I was stoned off my ass in some basement or on some dock with all my friends laughing at them. I wonder what they would say if I told them that Hannah was typing for me when I was too busy to bother with them while I was watching [adult swim] or Weeds or Star Wars?

Now the reason I am typing this is not to confess that I take advantage of naive, hormone enraged High School girls. It is to vent how they make me want to scream. All of them don't see this for what it is on multiple levels. They don't seem to understand that its a rouse, which I guess means I did my job well, but now it has escalated to the point that they think I care about their lives. I don't. And what's worse is that they try to communicate on the same intellectual level as myself. They can't. It is horrifying how dumb they all are and yet have no idea.
If I was actually trying to get a nut off of these girls I would probably wind up killing myself. Having to explain what "get me off" means is not sexy. Typing "layed" instead of "laid" is not sexy. Its like they all think they are mature enough to be sexually active yet can't grasp the simple concepts of sex. I was more sexually savvy at 14 then these girls are at 16-18. And for awhile this made it so much more priceless. Like telling this girl that I wanted her to reach into a bucket of popcorn in a crowded movie theater to find my cock and then fuck her with everyone watching made all of my friends and I crack up when she responded back to me about how hot that would be, cluing to us that she was under the impression that I was serious.

But now its just annoying, because I am getting invited to proms and out to eat with them. They are coming to me with problems and dilemmas. And I just when I thought they couldn't be more dumb, I find myself explaining things like sarcasm and idiosyncrasies.

Well now I'm done. It was fun while it lasted, but I can't keep up the charade. If I have ever sexted with you, understand that there was a good chance I was with all of my friends and we all laughed at you. I am not sorry.

On a closing note, I have much better real sex than any of you girls could ever imagine up.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The bad dreams get worse every week, I think I'm losing a little of me

I sat alone in my car today and cried. I don't know why. I don't know why I get so sad around the holidays.

I went to bed last night, wanting to know what it would feel like to not wake up. I think tonight wont be too different.

I am happy I stopped posting the link to this on my twitter after each entry. It allows me to treat this like a journal, a real one. Cause no one really cares enough to go out of there way to read this. I have to put it out there. But now that I stopped, I don't need to curb myself anymore. I can be as pessimistic as I want. Nothing needs to make sense. I am just writing words. I am just typing what comes to mind. I am just slowly dying at my computer. Wasting every precious minute I could be spending with other people, alone, in my black room.

I noticed that I spend a lot of time playing solitaire in public; it's funny how even when I am surrounded by people, I am alone.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Negative Me.

I am in another funk. I have been feeling really irrational feelings. I have been having a hard time forming complete coherent thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I live each day as a suicide attempt. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I have a hard time knowing people, but I am just having a hard time knowing myself. Who am I? I wonder.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tonight we feel alive.

I feel that I should speak about a lot of things the people seem to be confused about in terms of last nights civil war on facebook.

First thing I would like to say, before I start dismissing the nonsense that has been used in the defense of Set in Color and Stereo Skyline, thank you all for the overwhelming support. It means a lot to myself and the other guys in Bellwether that people actually do care.

Next, you're welcome. Call me a narcissistic, condescending prick, but we got you all fired up, something I haven't seen in a long time. It was great to see so many people voice their opinion for what I am assuming is the first time publicly. Let us hope that this emotion carries over to live shows, cause the bands need it, and would appreciate it greatly.

Now, the part that no one wants to hear, because it makes their arguments null and void.

First claim: Bellwether is jealous of Set In Color because they are successful.
Reality: No where in the song did we mention success or jealousy. In case you missed it, go back to the site and read the lyrics.

http://bellwetherli.bandcamp.com/

What we are sick of, are bands being fake. Bands that don't write, record or perform their own music. Believe it or not, Set In Color and Stereo Skyline fit into that category.

Which brings me to

Claim #2: That you are sticking up for your friends/ boys.
Reality: They are not your boys. They were MY boys before the term "boys" was even a term of endearment.

Chris and I go further back than anyone seems to realize because he has basically erased me from his life. But the truth is if it weren't for myself and Matt Lags, Chris would of never been in a band; Set In Color would never have existed.

Kevin Bard is another person who I have a history with. In fact, he was the camera guy for MY old band Valet Parking. He even tried out for guitar once, and we ultimately decided it wouldn't work do to severe lack of ability to play the guitar (not being mean or an asshole, this is the truth).

I can go on, but will choose to stop because I will just wind up going on rants that will never end. So I will leave it at this.

There is more to the story than you will ever know! Quit pretending that you do, because you don't.

Heres my evidence, enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbi12J-9P8Y
Skip to 1:10

Notice who isn't tagged in these next few, I thought he was at one point, hmmm.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=7276091649&set=t.794184114

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=7981052645&set=t.794184114

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=15660769114&set=t.794184114

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1030419598555&set=t.794184114

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=20087076413&set=t.794184114

I will admit that Kevin isn't tagged in the next one, because he doesn't have a facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=17817169023&set=t.794184114&pid=608593&id=624814023


Everyone, get your shit straight.

Monday, November 1, 2010

If you bring the heart then I'll bring the beat.

I wanted to write this sooner, but was side tracked because I had a pretty... ugh... a pretty interesting Sunday.

Saturday was Bellwether's (my new band for anyone who has not heard me shamelessly plug before) first show. I have to say from start to finish I didn't really comprehend what was happening, only in retrospect did I come to the realizations that I did.

I consider myself a veteran of the Long Island Music Scene. Wether that means anything to you or not doesn't matter, what does matter is that I have been doing the whole band thing for about a decade at this point. I have played countless shows to crowds of 5 people to 500. I have played numerous venues like The Crazy Donkey and The Knitting Factory and have shared the stage with bands like Catch 22 and The Ataris. I have been in AP Magazine and on MTV. I must admit that I am a well seasoned performer and musician. This being said, you may understand why Saturday was so surreal for me.

I showed up at The Vibe Lounge on Saturday a tad discouraged. The show was pretty empty with the exception of the first bands parents and Mark Masterson, who is a poster boy for the scene. I feel like everyone should take examples from this kid who as a Sophomore in High School started up LIMS Radio which completely boosted the morale of the entire scene and in currently working on projects that will make your head spin. Not to mention this kid goes to shows and stays for EVERYONE! One day his name is going to be uttered with the likes of Nat Giambalvo and Joe Ragosta, just you wait and see. But I digress, the place was a fucking hole.

Outside, Desmond is trying to push tickets and things were not looking so great. So typical me started to get ready to play for my girlfriend, my friends who were able to attend and the staff of Vibe.

I get a text from Travis telling me that the second band is on their last song so we should start getting our shit ready. When the band finished I walked on stage with my head hung low, bummed at the thought that our first show would be a dud. What I saw when I turned from my bass rig to the crowd was a first for me. Some how from the moment I stepped on stage to the point that I got done setting up the place filled in. It was in no way sold out but it was certainly a healthy crowd for Vibe.

With my spirits lifted I wait for the rest of the guys to set up. Once we got the go ahead I looked at the guys, Matt, Kyle, Desmond and Bryan and we all were thinking the same thing: This is it.

I hesitated for a second and finally got on the mic and told the crowd that "We are Real American Heros so please remove your hats and prepare for The National Anthem." We placed our hands on our hearts and Kyle began to play. For the first time in a long time something happened to me. I felt my heart pounding, something that had not happened to me since the first time I played Calvary. I was nervous, actually nervous. The veteran of a decade who has countless accolades was nervous.

Our set was not too different than other sets I have played. Energy was high, crowd seemed into, plenty of positive feedback. These things were typical, I was prepared for them. What I was not expecting, simply because I have never seen this happen before was what happened when we were playing our second to last song "With All Due Respects" (which we should be releasing today). Right before we started the song I walked to the mic yet again and simply said "This goes out to our good friends in Set In Color" which I am no longer ashamed to admit was sarcastic. Desmond looked at me with a nervous expression, as he stuttered about how he was not sure if we were gonna be so blunt.

That song changed a lot of things for me. Once the crowd realized what we were singing about, they erupted. Much thanks to Brian Thomann who rushed the stage to sing the gang vocals he recorded with us and Chris Regan who brought the mosh and who like Mark Masterson, I believe will be a scene legend one day. Kids I have never met before were all singing along to a song they have never heard, a first for me. I could not have asked for a better first show.

The rest of the night was also incredible. Life Between Sleep and City of Trees both killed it. I have been playing with those guys since the days that Valet Parking, Code: Adrenaline and This Endeavor were our main focuses and big names on Long Island. Seeing Life Between Sleep with the new line up was great. I had heard mixed reviews, but I have to say the new singer and guitar player are both excellent additions to the band. And City of Trees, my dudes who truly have found an original sound that suits them were incredible. As musicians, all of them have truly evolved into something great and it was great to see Zach, Cerney, Boha and Joe all back together again. Cerney, my dude, also dedicated a song with a hook that goes "Where has the heart gone?" to Set In Color. I very proud moment for me. Even more proud when Mark approached me and said "The revolution has begun."

I do feel the need to speak about Bright and Early, they came and gave it their all despite the crowd having dissipated to a handful of people. They deserved a lot more respect than they are given, especially from a crowd that went from explosive to gone. There is no reason to leave a show on a Saturday before it is over. That was the one downside to the night, the show was basically dead when City of Trees got off. There is no reason for that. Step up your game Long Island. Really, the scene is in your hands. There will always be bands and kids trying to make them work. But there needs to be more supporters of local music, not supporters of just their friends music.

All in all the night was great, with the exception of the minor detail.

Be on the look out for more from Bellwether. And keep supporting real music like Bright and Early, City of Trees and Life Between sleep. Be more like Mark, Chris, Brian. The kids that put as much heart into being in a crowd as bands put into playing a show.

I hope you enjoyed my novel, if you didn't, YOU CAN GET FUCKED!



nah just kidding... not really...but yea.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A headless and harrowing future...

I wish to break the binds that keep me college bound;

The truly rich and enlightened have done so before me.

I grow tired of the crippling capitalistic caste

That gags you, holds you hostage and rapes you.

Only to add insult to injury with the famous cop-out:

“This is only to better your future!”

What future?

The future that herds you into a career like you’re a cattle,

So your job can gag you, hold you hostage and rape you?

Only to add insult to injury with the famous cop-out:

“You are creating a better future for this generation and generations to come!”

What future?

Friday, September 24, 2010

We have a right to question why. See through the lies. Re-sensitize. And look closer.

A brief (and loose) political post.

Ever since I was a young boy, I never understood the point of studying history. My parents would simply answer with "History repeats itself, so we need to study history so we don't make the same mistakes." At the time that made little to no sense to me. But now, I understand fully.

I would like to present 3 events that are happening right now, and link them to events of the past.

Event 1: Ground Zero Mosque

Way back when, there was a kind in England. He religiously oppressed the catholics. Eventually, the catholics left England, made America and kicked England's ass in 2 different wars.

Today, Muslims are trying to practice their First Amendment Right of Freedom of Religion, but people all over America, the same country that was founded on the wants and needs of the present day Muslims are trying as hard as they can to make sure this doesn't happen.

Can anyone guess what may happen next?

Event 2: Gay Rights

Not too long ago, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. led the Civil Rights Movement so that people of color would have the same rights as whites and no longer be segregated.

Today, Gays fight the same battle for equality. Similar to how the Blacks did not have the same privileges as the Whites, Homosexuals don't have the same privileges as Heterosexuals.

Do we really have to do the entire civil rights thing over again?

Event 3: The Tea Party

After WWI, Germany went into a depression. With the people distraught and hopeless, they turned to a charismatic man by the name of Adolf Hitler. Hitler was at the head of the National Socialist Party, and they vowed to take back Germany and make it great again by eliminating the Jew.

Today, a similar crowd of thoughtless drones are backing the charismatic duo of Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, who will take back America and make it great again by eliminating the Muslims and the Gays.

Wait, Glenn Beck. He's the guy that calls everyone else Nazi's right?

Guys, I know this isn't the deepest and most well developed blog in the world, but the brunt end of it is there. Feel free to expand or argue with my views, but one thing is irrefutable. History is repeating itself, right in front of all of our eyes.