Do you remember all of us together as we grew up under the sun?

So I haven't posted in awhile because every time I started to write something I felt like I was just doing more bitching than anything. But tonight I would like to talk about things I am happy about.

I have recently got involved in a new band with a bunch of guys who love just playing music which is such a wonderful change.

I have joined a film crew which is awesome cause its nice to be involved in something new and exciting with people who are actually experienced in the field, so I'm learning a lot of things which is great.

I have been reconnecting with old friends, and life is starting to make sense all over again.

Thats it.

Shut up! Shut up! Its my turn to talk...

... It is hard for me to find a good way to start this blog, so I decided the best way to start it would be to admit that.

I don't know why I am the way I am with some things. In this particular case I am referring to somewhat of a double standard that I can't seem to shake.

As many people may or may not know, I happen to enjoy consuming substance in large quantities. I also have no problem with other people consuming large quantities of substance. For some odd reason my problem comes in when this equation is completed:

Someone I care about consumes large quantities of substance+a cell phone= drunk texts= me a total wreck.

So in this case, my girlfriend is at after prom. I would be too naive to convince myself that her and her friends drove to the armpit of America to not drink. My problem was not there. My problem is that its now about 4:30 am and is telling me about how she drank too much. This makes me very uneasy cause she is in a different state and she is with at least 2 people that I am fairly sure would take advantage of her.

It also not helping that most of my friends were under the impression that I was going to cheat on my girlfriend tonight because I went on somewhat of a date with another girl. Proud to say I did not cheat on her, but since the idea is cheating on my head... well lets just say I have been shaking throughout writing all of this.

I try not to show my emotional side too often, hence why I use these blogs as a crutch to vent them, because this blog bares no judgement (until someone reads it and gets upset or offended but thats another story).

That being said, I still don't feel a whole lot better about this ridiculous predicament I forced myself into, so I'm gonna go take a walk and hopefully I don't smoke an entire pack of 54's.

I'm just happy to be alive...

First off, I would like to say that last nights show was absolutely amazing. We had a fun time playing and watching all our friends play as well. We also loved that the crowd was as fun and active as it was.

That being said, I would like to address I few points that several of my friends made to me during the show.

Desmond Zantua said it best: "Valet Parking breaks up and Vibe turns into an insane asylum. Why isn't it like this all the time?!"

This statement kind of urks me. Because he is making a really good point. Why does a band have to disband for kids to not only show up to the show, but go crazy?

The truth is more people should treat every show like the everyone treated last nights show. If more people came out with more enthusiasm and in greater numbers all the time, the scene would not "suck" as much as it does.

I was talking to Matt from VP a few days before the show and he was in absolute shock that so many people came out of the wood work online and stated how much Valet Parking meant to them. Where were all of these people who cared so much the last few years? Certainly not at shows.

In the words of Nick Ohrnberger. "This is our scene, don't let it die!"

If anyone does read this, don't take this as an attack, take this as incentive to support more local bands. The loss of VP was a devastating one, lets try our hardest to make sure that this doesn't happen to another great band from LI.

To conclude this post, I will shamelessly self-promote. Be on the look out for a few new recordings from The OverUnder, including 2 old songs done in new ways and a cover of a 1999 pop classic!

And of course, look out for good things to come from Matt, Travis and CJ.

I'll make the best out of a bad situation

It has been awhile since my last post. I have held off from writing in here for a bunch of reasons. Probably the biggest being that I did not want to hastily say something and subsequently fuck shit up.

I guess I will back track a few weeks to fill in all the blanks.

A few weeks ago, I had a pretty bad mental breakdown. I was desperately awaiting summer and it never came. I was under so much stress from school that all I wanted to do was relax, but the opposite actually occurred. Instead of being able to kick it, my stress levels spiked due to all the responsibilities I decided to take on that I mentioned in my last post.

I hit the climax of my stress the Tuesday before the show. My phone woke me up at 7 am. I ignored it because it was 7 am! My phone then woke me up again at 11. I decided that 11 was a more appropriate time for me to out of bed. I looked at my phone and saw a metric shit ton of missed calls and texts. I started to answer them all. Some time after I looked up at my clock and noticed that it was now noon. I spent a full hour responding to texts and missed phone calls, and they kept coming in faster than I could send them out. And then I snapped. I couldn't take being so heavily relied upon for everything. I then smashed my phone, punched a very big dent into my file cabinet and punched a hole in my wall. I then took every piece of technology I owned, put it in a bag and told my mom to hide it while I went out to calm down.

I am now doing a lot better. My phone still rings off the hook, but I have learned to just let it ring.

I decided that day that I could no longer be apart of the label and that I would stop booking shows. The last show that I did book went well though. I of course was still stressed out of my head for a million reasons, but at the end of the night it was a success.

Since then, I have kind of rerouted my summer a little bit. This of course would not be possible if a few things did not happen.

Thing one. The new drummer for TOU, Jason, has kind of been a fresh ball of energy and has been motivating us to take a more proactive approach to the band, which we have been.

Thing two. If Valet Parkings van didn't break.

Thing three. If I was not getting fed up with some behavioral choices of some of my friends.

Even though I know that if any of them read this, they will know I am talking about them I will say this anyway.

I have recently noticed that a select group of my friends rely heavily on smoking pot. It has gotten to the point where I am not sure if they do anything sober anymore. Now I don't have a problem with smoking weed, I enjoy the herb myself, but I was starting to get heavily inconvenienced simply by them having to smoke. Plans made with them would be delayed for hours. If I was at band practice, they wouldn't wait till I was done so we could hang out with out me having to drive miles out of my way, only to get high. I was even put in a tight spot when they smoked in a car at the last show I booked and the entire parking lot smelt like pot. Had someone who owned the place come by, I would of been royally fucked, but things like this don't cross their minds.

So I have been spending a little less time with them. I hope that sometime soon we can all hang out like we did last summer where being high wasn't the primary concern, but the secondary.

Till then, I will continue to hang out with some of the guys from the class of 08 and people in the scene.

There is one last thing I want to say.

In 2001, I started a band that grew into one of the more popular bands on LI. In 2008 I left. From then till now, I watched the band grow further and in venture off into new directions. Today, I get ready to say goodbye.

Valet Parking, like many other bands on LI, was started with a dream and a burning passion. I am sad to have to watch something that was so great and made me happy for so many years have to be put down. I wish everyone in that band the best of luck and I know they will be successful with what ever the decide to do.

I don’t think I wanna live here dying all alone...

Contrary to my last blog, summer has yet to yield any real greatness with the exception of a few parties and shows. I don't know if we have grown apart or if we are just getting older, but I feel that the fire in most of my friends has died. I am aware its only May and there is still all of summer, but last year this time, we were up till 5 AM just talking and having a good time. Now everyone goes in at 12 despite the fact that school is over. Yea some of my friends have work and responsibilities, its just a little lame, or at least I think so.

I guess I am a little stressed and I am desperately looking to relive the care free days of last summer. Lately I have been up to my neck in shit for the band, the label Mark and I are starting, the shows Danny and I are booking. And now I have just taken on the responsibility of promoting for an organization called Choose Responsibility, which is aiming to lower the drinking age to 18. All of these things are great and exciting, they just all give me a huge headache when they all need to get done at once.

What is killing me more than ever is the fact that I don't see Gina as much as I would like to. Recently our schedules have just been in constant conflicts. And it all really sucks, because now my psyche is in constant conflict.

I used to tell myself that I would never truly fall in love due to the fact that I want to live a tour type life style and because of that I would not have the time for a full time partner. But I am in love with Gina, and my whole perception of my life has been flipped around.

I guess I can only hope that things will get more exciting and that I will be taken out of this funk.

Totally off topic but I fell in love with this quote tonight!

"Well, it's a crazy fucked up world and we're all just floating along waiting for someone who can walk on water, man."- Michael A. Goorjian as Heroine Bob in SLC Punk

Here in this Diary I write you visions of my summer.

School is officially over and summer is shaping up to be a good one. So far there have been 2 bat shit insane parties and it looks like there will be plenty more to come. So I am glad about that.

Tonight was a little different though, it was much more low key. Evan got home from NEC today so we met up with Rob and got cold cheese. On our way home we picked up Lisa, a few cigars and we sat in Rob's cool shed type thing just listening to music and enjoying sweet tobacco.

I discovered that I absolutely treasure these moments. I have come to enjoy simple evenings with good company. We all agreed that the evening would of been complete with some beer or wine, but there is always next time. I can't wait till the weather is nicer so things like that can happen a little more frequently.

In other spectrums of my life, be on the look out for big things from The OverUnder and a few other projects I've been working on. This summer is gonna be BIG!

I'm another day late and one year older.

So I just finished all my finals. Most people would say I should be stoked. But I'm not. Sure I'm glad its over, but this semester handed me my ass on a silver platter. I am almost positive I just failed the easiest math class Hofstra has to offer, which I have to say I don't want to take over. My GPA Dropped from 3.5 to 3.2 and only one of my classes has been factored in. I guess I really just have to pray for a good grade in psych and a decent grade in history. I know I got an A in writing which is awesome, but the fact that out of 6 classes that was the only good grade I'm getting is really bumming me out.

How appropriate that its raining today.

I dropped my car off to get serviced a little while ago and I walked home in the rain. It felt so right to sulk as I walked home soaking wet. I guess I'll be taking some winter and summer courses next year to make up for this nonsense.

I'm thinking about dropping the whole music aspect of college. Sure I love it, but in the end, I am a Pop Punk musician and no matter how much I can fool my parents and friends, there is no way I will ever be a music teacher with that mentality, unless I teach Pop Performance at the New School.

I am thinking about taking up acting. I have been told that I am pretty good at it. So what the hell. If Keanu Reeves can do it, I can. Plus, Christopher Walken graduated from Hofstra, that has to say something good about the drama department there. I guess I'll see what next semester does for me. I'm taking 3 music classes out of 5 classes in total. Maybe I'll change my mind again.

I have to say that even though I am not obligated to write in this blog anymore, I'm happy I am.

I feel a lot better having spewed all my feelings out onto this. My attitude now (from my attitude when I started writing this blog) is if I fail, I fail. No ones dead right? Life carries on.

As cliche as this sounds, I guess this is my failure by design.